


In silence

by elareine



Series: Advent Calendar 2019 [17]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Friendship, Gen, Miscommunication, Telepathy, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:02:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21844864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elareine/pseuds/elareine
Summary: The city speaks to him, but being a meta doesn’t keep him from being hungry.He wonders, sometimes, if his mom possesses the same capabilities; if it’s that what she’s trying to numb. The other possibility is that she’s trying to forget abouthim. Neither of these is great, so he tries not to focus on that.
Series: Advent Calendar 2019 [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1558834
Comments: 5
Kudos: 160





	In silence

**Author's Note:**

> Advent calendar day seventeen: Telepathy.

The city speaks to him. 

It’s not good or bad; it just is and has always been that way, for as long as Jason can remember. He’s eight when he first learns the word for it, ‘telepathy,’ and that he’s probably considered a ‘meta.’ Someone different. But Jason likes it. Having a secret is something just for himself, something he doesn’t have to share if he doesn’t feel like it. 

He’s really more of an empath than a telepath, though occasionally, a clear thought comes through. It’s not like he’s dangerous or anything. Sure, sometimes it’s difficult to separate himself from anger his dad feels, from the fear his mother goes to sleep with daily, but surely that’s the same for everyone? 

Being a meta doesn’t keep him from being hungry. The opposite, really. 

He wonders, sometimes, if his mom possesses the same capabilities, if it’s that what she’s trying to numb. The other possibility is that she’s trying to forget about _him_. Neither of these is great, so he tries not to focus on that. 

She dies either way, and Jason is alone on the streets, as alone one can be with about a thousand voices and feelings in your head. 

He does not hear Batman come up behind him. It’s a total surprise when the hand clamps down on his shoulder. 

Jason lashes out in surprise and disgust. What kind of person does not radiate any thoughts or feelings? Maybe it’s true, what they say. Batman isn’t human. It’s the only explanation for the sudden silence in Jason’s head. 

Later, after he tried getting rid of Jason twice and fails, Bruce explains to him that he learned to silence his head in a monastery in… Tibet? Nepal? Wherever it is, Jason immediately vows never to go there. He doesn’t like the numbness that spreads through him when he meditates. It feels like shutting out a world he’s always been connected to. What if you miss out on the good parts because you want to avoid the bad ones? 

He thinks Dick might agree with him if only Jason could talk to him about it. Bruce makes it clear he wants Jason to hide his abilities. And Dick is barely in Gotham, anyway, and when he is, he argues with Bruce. Jason gets that. It would just be nice to talk to someone who knows Bruce like Dick does. 

As the years pass and he becomes Robin, other downsides of Bruce’s policy become apparent. 

“Why are we not punishing them?” Jason is shouting. He knows Bruce hates that, but—he can’t. In front of him is a so-called human being who even now is preparing what to say to his lawyer so he can get out of jail and do all this again soon. How could Jason stay calm? 

“That is not what we do.” 

Jason thinks of the little girl back in that cold, cold apartment. “If you could feel her pain—” 

“Emotions are not a reliable guide for actions.” Batman turns away. The discussion is over before it ever began. 

Jason still hasn’t felt a single thing from Bruce. No anger, no pain, and certainly no love. 

Maybe it’s time he starts looking elsewhere. He can’t deal with this anymore. 

It takes Jason a long time to figure out what’s happening. 

When he comes out of the pit, his telepathy is stronger. He can feel Bruce, now, know him and all the disgust he’s always felt at Jason; how he values the life of criminals more than that of children. He can feel how the rest of the so-called batfamily looks at him like he’s an animal that needs to be put down. 

None of them deserve to call themselves Gotham’s protector. Jason has absolutely no compunction in treating them as if they’re barely a step above the criminals. 

Until he meets Arsenal. 

Roy… he’s so soothing. 

Despite all the shit he’s been through, there’s still this light in him, and he generously passes it onto others. Here’s one person who even Ra’s cannot taint, and it breaks the spell. 

Yes. Spell. Or rather, the way being in the pit with Ra’s had messed with his head. Finding out Ra’s tainted the one thing Jason thought he could rely on… It feels like more of a violation than having to dig his way out of his own grave.

Doesn’t feel great, knowing that he attacked people for no good reason. Even worse is the desire to do it again. 

“That’s not on you, man,” Roy tells him. As always, it’s backed up by his thoughts, his feelings. Jason doesn’t have to consciously check anymore. He knows Roy means what he says. 

Still he shakes his head. “I should have noticed.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like there’s a 101 class for you take. What the fuck does Batsy expect if he just tells you to not use a power you cannot switch off?” 

Jason deliberately does not answer that question. “Introduction to Telepathy? What would that even look like?” 

To his surprise, Roy genuinely considers the question. “Dunno, but we could find out. I know a telepath on the Titans, let’s start there.” 

They do. Kori even introduces him to an entire alien race of telepaths. It’s great. Jason’s filters improve every day. He can choose when to listen, now; he can walk along a busy street without picking up on every stray feeling. Life is quieter but never silent. 

Learning how to get a handle on his powers is one thing. Allowing himself to see certain things… that’s more difficult. 

Gradually, Jason begins to trust that the replacement has never held more than some well-earned wariness against him. There’s even some respect there, along with a genuine offer to help if Jason wants it. Dick is confusion and the earnest, if occasionally misguided, desire to make things better. The others are a bit more difficult, but that’s okay. Jason has no intention of becoming family again. 

He still doesn’t know if Ra’s manipulated his telepathy to the point that he received wrong signals from Bruce, or if it was just his own head, trying to replace the silence in Bruce’s mind with something more familiar. Honestly, at this point, it barely matters anymore. Jason has got to stop doing this to himself and move on. 

With his friends’ minds glowing warmly in the back of his own, he thinks he might just manage that. 

All Bruce ever wanted was to shield Jason from the horrors of his mind. Surely his own anger could only fuel Jason’s; his own sadness increase Jason’s; his endless thoughts on the unfairness of it all only drag down a child who has already experienced so much of it. 

(He will not admit that he was ashamed. He was not. It was—it was just better that way.) 

He knows he’s wrong, now. Arsenal was the one who spit in his face, who told him he isolated a boy who needed connection more than anything else and left him vulnerable to manipulation. 

Bruce has never even considered that possibility. To him, it was obvious that the tendencies Jason already had as a child had been strengthened by trauma; that Jason was choosing to spit in the face of the values that Bruce worked so hard to instill in him; that he continues to do so. 

Absurdly, his first thought when he figures out that something else went terribly wrong is: ‘Why didn’t Dick tell me?’ 

Because he didn’t know, Bruce realizes. None of his genius-level children figured out Jason, because Bruce never told them he was—is—a telepath in the first place. 

Anyway, Bruce tells himself, it doesn’t matter what he did or didn’t say, because some apparent manipulation on Ra’s part doesn’t excuse Jason’s actions. He should have known better than to kill. And doesn’t he still walk around with his guns? 

Still, Bruce vows to be better with Duke and tries to find a way for Jason and him to move forward. 

“Show them trust,” Dick says in answer to a hypothetical question that they both know isn’t hypothetical, “and maybe, they will return it in time.” 

So Bruce keeps his mind open. It’s a struggle, after all these years, but he does in the hope that Jason will see something there that will help him move on; that will get Bruce his son back. 

But Jason never seems to look. It’s as if he can’t be bothered to; as if he has given up on Bruce. 

Maybe he has. There is no way for Bruce to know. He’s not a telepath, after all. 


End file.
